So you’ve got yourself a first date? I’m about as surprised as you are that you’ve charmed your way into a drink with the gal you’ve been chatting up online. It’s nothing against you fellas really, it’s just that trying to secure a date with someone you only “met” virtually is a tough terrain to traverse. There are other men out there muddying the waters with mundane, messy, and maniacal messages, so you’re lucky that she has the stamina and stomach to read yours. Pat yourself on the back there guy, but realize the real work starts now.
Just because you’ve hooked one special catch from the online dating site of the day, does in no way mean it’s a done deal. The important groundwork laid in the digital world needs to be blown out of the water by the impression we make IRL. With that, the key is to wow her and woo her by tapping into as many of her senses as possible. That which she sees, hears, smells, and even touches in our presence will indeed resonate and if done right we’ll be well on our way to date number two. Most of things you need to do to impress are actually practical and simple. Remember it is a collection of all sorts of little things that matter most to women.
With that, here goes…
Read or refresh yourself about some simple manners…just a suggestion in case you’ve lost your way there. You can’t have fun without fundamentals fellas, just saying. (This taps into the seeing and hearing sense. She sees you’re a polite gentleman. She hears you treat the waiter with dignity– make sure to say “please” and “thank you” with a smile on your face.)
Will you please take a whole 5 minutes or so to read over her dating profile and any emails you’ve exchanged? I recommend using Mirror.co, a new website that I’ve helped develop where you can uniquely learn all about what your date is like as a person from the people in her life, while still learning about what she likes too. Refreshing yourself on her interests and dislikes, what motivates her, etc. will go a long way. It prevents awkward silences if you can reach back and ask her about her tennis game and then volley back a few answers you’ll be golden. This isn’t Wimbledon, it’s a first date so just have fun with it.
(You tap into the hearing sense again. She hears that you listened to what she said and now she can see that you are a good listener. )
Less is more when it comes to cologne. Provided that you have time to shower or wash up at minimum before your date, ease up on the cologne. One spritz rubbed onto your neck of John Varvatos cologne will tease her nostrils and make her want to get closer to you to catch the scent again. Fresh and clean is the way to go. If you’re using that much cologne to mask your body’s natural aroma, what else might you be trying to hide from her? (You’ve tapped into the smell sense, and rather than smelling fear from the girl, you sense she’s feeling safe already)
Shake like a man sans sandpaper and clammy hands. Get a grip and try out Kiehls Ultimate Strength Hand Salve. (For a first date tapping into touch isn’t tantamount, but if you can let her feel that you are strong yet have softness about you, it will register with her.)
For heaven’s sake, dress to impress.
I saved this part for last as it is the most crucial. Although it should never feel like one, a first date is very much like a job interview. On a job interview, you’re hardly comfortable in your shirt, suit, and tie, but you do what’s necessary. I am not advocating dressing in anything uncomfortable for your first date. I am opening your eyes to the fact that those comfortable jeans of yours that toured last summer’s Electric Zoo or Bonaroo festivals have its time and place and this first date isn’t one of those stops for them. Tall or short, fat or thin, you need to be wearing clothes that fit you nicely and best accentuate your features. The shirt, suit, tie combo you wear to the interview I’m sure fits you great, has you feeling a million bucks and ready to grab that job. Your date clothes need to Mirror those to have that girl grab a hold of your arm at the end of the night as you waltz your way into a second date.
(The seeing sense is so crucial on the first date. She sees that you not only have no trouble dressing yourself, senses your confidence ’cause you know you look damn good, and sees that you donned something that’s hardly ordinary. This will evoke the sentiment that you cared enough to look good for her as she certainly has done the same and then some for you.)
I happen to be fortunate in that I found Elana, my Style Soulmate, who helps me find the clothing that works for me. She works for Trunk Club, a Chicago-based company that styles men. The way it works is that an assigned stylist chats with you about your preferences, budget, and needs and then sends out a personalized shipment of clothing. Once it arrives you try on the clothes, keep and pay for what you like, and send back anything that’s not right for you; plus they offer free shipping! Since they cover the shipping costs and coordinate your outfits, all you need to do is have an open mind and an open wallet. If you’re not ready for an Elana just yet, start with one of your female friends or relatives. Most girls I know love picking out clothes for guys so it’s no biggie to ask one for help.
Here are some of the threads that are trending in my closet, courtesy of Elana and a few other supplies you need to get it right:
1. Jack Spade Plaid Shirt, $165
2. Kenzo Belt, $210
3. Kiehl’s Ultimate Strength Hand Salve, $15
4. Cole Haan ‘Air Madison’ Oxford, $245 (They have Nike technology built into the shoe)
5. J Brand Kane Corduroy Pants, $181
6. John Varvatos 10th Anniversary Fragrance, $88
Good Luck, good talk. See you guys out there.
To find out what a gal is really like, check out Mirror.co, where you can also create a profile for yourself. To order your own personalized trunk from Trunk Club, email firstname.lastname@example.org.